
I have been dealing with “girl bullying” with my daughters. I even went to the school, but the teacher dismissed it and stated, “Oh, she wouldn’t do that! I can’t see her saying that.” At that moment I was angry that the teacher completely dismissed my daughter’s feelings and did not believe her. I instantly felt as if it was a waste of time having a discussion with her. I reminded her bullying is not just physical, it can be a look, a whisper, one person telling a group not to talk to an individual, or rumors and exclusion.
Bullying is not always physical, it can be emotional. Girls are more known for “relational bullying” which includes exclusion, forming cliques, gossiping, spreading rumors, nasty comments, cyberbullying, out casting, sharing secrets, and backstabbing. This usually involves recruiting others to do the same. Relational bullying can often have side effects. Some effects include depression, anxiety, withdrawal from friends and family, missing school, change in behavior, suicidal ideation, PTSD, confusion, and anger.
We are halfway through the summer, and I thought I had given my daughters the tools they needed to ease the situation. I was thinking, “Haven’t we all been bullied? Haven’t we all felt not good enough, not part of the team?” I was completely wrong! Parents, times have changed! When we were bullied and left for summer break, we may have not seen our bullies until school started again in the fall. Social media has changed that for our children. The bullying does not stop during the summer, it continues through Snap Chat, Instagram, TIK TOK, and group texts. The goal is the same: excluding and out casting the victim. I have now made it a priority to monitor screen-time and the apps my children are using. I have began monitoring their phones and have discussed the dangers of social media with my children.
How can we help our daughters build resilience when they are going through this difficult time?
- Don’t overreact– It is hard for parents not to worry, but if our daughters see us worrying and reacting, they may feel as if it is their fault and that they are not living up to our expectations. We need to be strong and listen to how they are doing and feeling.
- Communicate and Listen– Be a good listener. Do not make assumptions or interrupt. After they finish talking, ask questions to let them know you were listening. Help them come up with solutions and include them in brainstorming solutions. Ask them questions like “What do you think you can say next time?” or “What do you think might work?” and “What will make you feel better?”
- Validate Anger- Your child has the right to feel angry. Make sure they know they are valuable, and find ways for them to cope and build resilience. Let them know they can expect better from a friendship.
- Seek alternatives– If the bullying is occurring at school, let your child develop friendships outside of school. Use community resources to find activities they are interested in.
- Talk to the School– Even if your child is developing new relationships outside of school you still to need to inform the school. Let your child know if you contact the school. If your child fears that contacting the school will cause more ridicule, you may want to come up with a discreet plan. Most teachers are willing to talk, and teachers can call out behavior or help deter bullying behavior. Be mindful that teachers may be in a difficult position if the bully is a star athlete or a child of a prominent community member. Even if schools have anti-bullying policies some policies may privilege some students over others. If this is the case you may need to contact the superintendent, principal, or school board.
- Allow them to figure it out– Discuss what a “good friend” is with your child. Role play how to deal with conflict. Discuss reasons why someone who is bullying is suffering. Remind them they need to treat people with respect, but they don’t need to be friends with everyone!
Sources:
Schatt, D., (2018) Relational Bullying: What Is It and What Can You do About It, JEM Foundation. https://thejemfoundation.com/relational-bullying-what-is-it-and-what-can-you-do-about-it/
Marrison, E. (2020) Teens and Screens: What Parents Should Know. Live Healthy Live Well blog, Ohio State University Extension. https://livehealthyosu.com/2020/06/25/teens-and-screens-what-parents-should-know/
Canty, J., Stubbe, M., Steers, D., Collings, S (2014) The Trouble with Bullying- Deconstructing the Conventional Definition of Bullying for a Child-Centered Investigation into Children’s Use of social media. National Children’s Bureau. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/chso.12103
Written by: Kellie Lemly MEd, Family and Consumer Sciences Educator, Ohio State University Extension, Champaign County, [email protected]
Reviewed by: Jenny Lobb, Family and Consumer Sciences Education, Ohio State University Extension Franklin County
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We all know that healthy eating is important, but sometimes it’s easier said than done when hectic schedules and tight budgets get in the way. To achieve your goal, a little bit of thought and planning can go a long way! One strategy is to use MyPlate as a guide to brainstorm meals that fit your family’s lifestyle and preferences. I find that it can be helpful to consider three main meal components – grains, vegetables and protein – and think about how to combine those components to make fast, nutritious meals throughout the week.
When you take the time to prepare grains, vegetables and protein in advance, it’s easy to throw together a quick weeknight meal. Dairy and fruit can then be added as toppings or side dishes.
s, and being linked with Alzheimer’s, headaches, depression and others.
hoose a variety of whole grains but including whole wheat, unless you need a gluten-free diet. When shopping be sure to choose products made with “whole wheat” or “whole-grain wheat.” You can also look for the 100% Stamp from the Whole Grains Council on foods made with all whole grains.

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June 28, 2022
Get UP and Move this Fall | Live Healthy Live Well
maximios Blog
October 3, 2011 by Michelle Treber
If you are like most of us, we know how important physical activity is to our health and well being. Sometimes we get so busy with our lives that it becomes the first thing we eliminate. Fall is here and now is a great time to increase your physical activity level. Aim for being active at least 5 days per week at a minimum of 30 minutes.
Lifting Weights
How much physical activity is needed?
Physical activity is important for everyone, but how much you need depends on your age.
ADULTS (18 to 64 years) Adults should do at least 2 hours and 30 minutes each week of aerobic physical activity at a moderate level OR 1 hour and 15 minutes each week of aerobic physical activity at a vigorous level. Being active 5 or more hours each week can provide even more health benefits. Spreading aerobic activity out over at least 3 days a week is best. Also, each activity should be done for at least 10 minutes at a time. Adults should also do strengthening activities, like push-ups, sit-ups and lifting weights, at least 2 days a week. Physical activity is generally safe for everyone. The health benefits you gain from being active are far greater than the chances of getting hurt. Here are some things you can do to stay safe while you are active: • If you haven’t been active in a while, start slowly and build up. • Learn about the types and amounts of activity that are right for you. • Choose activities that are appropriate for your fitness level. • Build up the time you spend before switching to activities that take more effort. • Use the right safety gear and sports equipment. • Choose a safe place to do your activity.
• See a health care provider if you have a health problem.
Why is Physical Activity Important?
Take a Bike RideRegular physical activity can produce long term health benefits. People of all ages, shapes, sizes, and abilities can benefit from being physically active. The more physical activity you do, the greater the health benefits. Being physically active can help you: • Increase your chances of living longer • Feel better about yourself • Decrease your chances of becoming depressed • Sleep well at night • Move around more easily • Have stronger muscles and bones • Stay at or get to a healthy weight • Be with friends or meet new people • Enjoy yourself and have funTry Yoga
Did you know? When you are not physically active, you are more likely to: • Get heart disease • Get type 2 diabetes • Have high blood pressure • Have high blood cholesterol • Have a stroke
Physical activity and nutrition work together for better health. Being active increases the amount of calories burned. As people age their metabolism slows, so maintaining energy balance requires moving more and eating less. Get outside and enjoy the fall weather by taking a walk or riding your bike.
Move more today!
Walk with others
Author: Michelle Treber, Family and Consumer Sciences Educator
Source: http://www.choosemyplate.gov/