Tips for daycare, preschool, and school age drop-offs and transitions
If your children are like mine, it’s not always easy for them to say goodbye, especially when going to daycare or school. While some children might run in the classroom excited for the day, it’s okay if that is not how it looks for you! While it is developmentally appropriate for your child to have a fear of strangers, there are ways that you can make daycare drop offs easier for the child and the caregiver.
Children thrive on routines and predictability. Research shows that routines support healthy emotional development in early childhood. Knowing what to expect helps children to feel confident and secure. Help your child to be ready for their school drop-off by giving them reminders of their schedule. You can do this a few days before up to the night before by saying “tonight we will get ready for bed, and when we wake up in the morning we will be going to daycare” (school, childcare, however you refer to it at home.) It can also help to have a visual calendar for your child to look at. We have one hanging in our kitchen that shows an “S” for school on the days we go.
Another tip for daycare drop-offs that has really helped my family is to create a goodbye ritual. This can be something special you come up with just for daycare drop off or something you use for every goodbye. We started a ritual of doing a hug, kiss, and a high five. This was something my son came up with and we continued with my daughter. Some other examples include: you could close the door and do a high five through the classroom window if it’s easy to reach, do an extra hug at the door, blow a kiss in the hallway, etc. It’s helpful to give reminders on the way to school by saying “when we get inside, we will put your things away, do our hug, kiss, high five, and then mommy/daddy will go to work!”
If your daycare or school allows, it can also help your child to have a comfort item at school. While they may not be able to have this item out during the day, sometimes even having the item in a bookbag or cubby helps a child to feel more connected to home. This could be a stuffed animal, blanket, or even a family photo.
Remember it is developmentally appropriate for your young child to struggle with goodbyes from caregivers. Talk with your childcare provider or teachers to see if they have any suggestions, and be aware that your child is usually happy and playing by the time that you get to your car! If you do hear from teachers that your child is struggling the entire day and having more severe issues with being apart, there could be something else going on related to separation anxiety disorder. If you have concerns with your child struggling with being separated from you, reach out to your pediatrician and see how they can help.
Written By: Erin Ruggiero, Family and Consumer Sciences Educator, Ohio State University Extension Medina County, [email protected]
Reviewed by: Shannon Carter, Family and Consumer Sciences Educator, Ohio State University Extension Fairfield County, [email protected]
References:
Fear of strangers: Babies and young children. Raising Children Network. (2022, December 7). https://raisingchildren.net.au/toddlers/behaviour/common-concerns/fear-of-strangers#:~:text=Fear%20of%20strangers%3A%20babies%20and%20young%20children&text=Fear%20of%20strangers%20is%20a,and%20introducing%20new%20people%20gradually.
Lantz, T. (2024, January 2). The importance of routines for kids. Zero to Thrive. https://zerotothrive.org/routines-for-kids/
Separation anxiety disorder in children. Nationwide Children’s Hospital. (n.d.). https://www.nationwidechildrens.org/conditions/health-library/separation-anxiety-disorder-in-children#:~:text=Separation%20anxiety%20disorder%20(SAD)%20is,are%20not%20with%20the%20person.
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September 12, 2025
routines | Live Healthy Live Well
maximios Blog
If your children are like mine, it’s not always easy for them to say goodbye, especially when going to daycare or school. While some children might run in the classroom excited for the day, it’s okay if that is not how it looks for you! While it is developmentally appropriate for your child to have a fear of strangers, there are ways that you can make daycare drop offs easier for the child and the caregiver.
Children thrive on routines and predictability. Research shows that routines support healthy emotional development in early childhood. Knowing what to expect helps children to feel confident and secure. Help your child to be ready for their school drop-off by giving them reminders of their schedule. You can do this a few days before up to the night before by saying “tonight we will get ready for bed, and when we wake up in the morning we will be going to daycare” (school, childcare, however you refer to it at home.) It can also help to have a visual calendar for your child to look at. We have one hanging in our kitchen that shows an “S” for school on the days we go.
Another tip for daycare drop-offs that has really helped my family is to create a goodbye ritual. This can be something special you come up with just for daycare drop off or something you use for every goodbye. We started a ritual of doing a hug, kiss, and a high five. This was something my son came up with and we continued with my daughter. Some other examples include: you could close the door and do a high five through the classroom window if it’s easy to reach, do an extra hug at the door, blow a kiss in the hallway, etc. It’s helpful to give reminders on the way to school by saying “when we get inside, we will put your things away, do our hug, kiss, high five, and then mommy/daddy will go to work!”
If your daycare or school allows, it can also help your child to have a comfort item at school. While they may not be able to have this item out during the day, sometimes even having the item in a bookbag or cubby helps a child to feel more connected to home. This could be a stuffed animal, blanket, or even a family photo.
Remember it is developmentally appropriate for your young child to struggle with goodbyes from caregivers. Talk with your childcare provider or teachers to see if they have any suggestions, and be aware that your child is usually happy and playing by the time that you get to your car! If you do hear from teachers that your child is struggling the entire day and having more severe issues with being apart, there could be something else going on related to separation anxiety disorder. If you have concerns with your child struggling with being separated from you, reach out to your pediatrician and see how they can help.
Written By: Erin Ruggiero, Family and Consumer Sciences Educator, Ohio State University Extension Medina County, [email protected]
Reviewed by: Shannon Carter, Family and Consumer Sciences Educator, Ohio State University Extension Fairfield County, [email protected]
References:
Fear of strangers: Babies and young children. Raising Children Network. (2022, December 7). https://raisingchildren.net.au/toddlers/behaviour/common-concerns/fear-of-strangers#:~:text=Fear%20of%20strangers%3A%20babies%20and%20young%20children&text=Fear%20of%20strangers%20is%20a,and%20introducing%20new%20people%20gradually.
Lantz, T. (2024, January 2). The importance of routines for kids. Zero to Thrive. https://zerotothrive.org/routines-for-kids/
Separation anxiety disorder in children. Nationwide Children’s Hospital. (n.d.). https://www.nationwidechildrens.org/conditions/health-library/separation-anxiety-disorder-in-children#:~:text=Separation%20anxiety%20disorder%20(SAD)%20is,are%20not%20with%20the%20person.
Read Full Post »